The End, or, Another New Beginning

at-the-worst-if-he-fails-at-least-fails-while-daring-greatly-so-that-his-place-1bc893be4404f1b29bfd940b7e001154

I haven’t posted anything in quite awhile.  My brain was full, and while I’ve been keeping a list of things I want to write about, my creative energy was dry.  Summer vacation was a welcome break from studies.  I started back to school in August – my sixth semester of pre-med.

With a little over two years invested, I came to a place of re-evaluation.  Spoiler alert: my journey into medicine has come to an end.

This summer, I started to have some major inner conflict about the amount of time I needed to commit to the process to be successful, not just for what I needed to do in the present, but in the future as this plan progressed.  To be sure that I wasn’t just choking in the final minutes of this game, I sought the counsel of my husband, professors, and friends about the challenges I’d face this year: tackling Organic Chemistry and Physics, taking the MCAT, and prepping my application for medical school.

Last week, while doing even more research on exactly what to expect as a med school applicant and student, I was reminded of how long it would take from acceptance to practicing as an M.D.: four years of brutal days/nights, plus an additional three years of residency (a.k.a underpaid grunt work).  Add another year for the application process, and that’s eight years from today that I might possibly be practicing medicine.  And what would be the cost?  Not financially speaking, though that is a hefty burden, but emotionally, physically, and personally.

Well, in my imaginary world, no one would age during that time, not me, my family, my husband…In fact, we’d all be younger and more vibrant than when I went in (ha!).  But, in reality, I’ll be 42 in just over a month (as one former med school applicant told me, “The deck is stacked against us older students.”), so I came to the conclusion that it’s too great a future personal sacrifice for me.  It’s time to stop this pursuit.

That said, my time at Sierra College is done!  I earned an A.S. in Natural Science, something I’m seriously proud of as a former Fine Arts major.  I’ve enjoyed the past two years (gosh, that went by fast) of torture intense growth, learned a ton of stuff a younger me would have run away from, and was inspired by new friends who are destined for great things.

As for, what now?  I’m looking forward to pulling focus back to my massage therapy business, something that has been a great support to me during this process.  I’ll be writing again for my other blog, goldcountrymassage.wordpress.com.  Come find me there!

I’m proud to say that I dared greatly, outside of my comfort zone.  I’m a more grounded, more whole person for having pursued this dream.  Let the adventure of life continue.  To infinity, and beyond!

“Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars, to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman

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